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bigbadbuff23835
Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 7611
Location: NY
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 Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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| SaveourSonics wrote: | | bigbadbuff23835 wrote: | | SaveourSonics wrote: | Okay, I actually have a question.
I've been talking to this girl recently, took her out to ice cream, and partied with her the other night. Not sure if she likes me (I know, I know, "with everything you just said of course she does) but recently the main subject of our conversation has been her ex-boyfriend. Should I try to avoid this subject at all costs, not worry about it as long as she's talking to me, or already feel screwed into the friendzone considering she's already comfortable enough with me to talk about this stuff? |
If she's going deep into detail about said ex, make a move now, or you will be friendzoned. At least from my personal experiences. |
Yea, not sure what to think. Like he's trying to talk to her and she just wants to be friends with him and she's asking me for advice even though we just really met the other night. Getting weird vibes and I hate getting friendzoned  |
Sounds exactly like what happened to me, although I never went hard after the girl, which at the moment I'm fine with. But just give her something else to talk about. 
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Silver&Black88
Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 24611
Location: Rochester, NY
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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| bigbadbuff23835 wrote: | | What do I do? |
Ask her out. Next question.
Hmmm, how about the good looking fellow over there.
| SaveourSonics wrote: | | Okay, I actually have a question. |
Yes?
| SaveourSonics wrote: | | I've been talking to this girl recently, took her out to ice cream, and partied with her the other night. Not sure if she likes me (I know, I know, "with everything you just said of course she does) but recently the main subject of our conversation has been her ex-boyfriend. Should I try to avoid this subject at all costs, not worry about it as long as she's talking to me, or already feel screwed into the friendzone considering she's already comfortable enough with me to talk about this stuff? |
I for sure would avoid that like the plague. Not really for the friendzone, but because that wouldn't be something I wanted to talk/hear about. If I'm talking to someone new I def would not be mainly talking about an ex. I'd try to make a move. Lets you know you're in or friendzoned. If it isn't and option, I'd avoid talking about him at all costs
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G Harmon
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 1538
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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Just seeing if others feek the same.
So my boy is having a lil surprise party and he wants me to come I guess.
I know my ex is going to be there and that's a huge issue. She basically used me as a stop gap till she went to college. I spent all my money on her last summer etc and gave my all but o well that's life. Like literally she stopped talking to me once she got up to UC . But she never apologized and one of her friends said she was hurt cause I stopped talking to her. The mention of her name brings me to evil thoughts I would text her and she would hardly respond. And I heard rumors she may have cheated but whatever I've never hated anyone like this. Its just I still have a STRONG resentment towards her. Honestly she could die and I wouldn't blink an eye. I'm just worried why do I feel such hatred for this person and is it normal.
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G.Harmon MLB #9
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playmaker8267
Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 7929
Location: University of New Hampshire
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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G, it comes down to one question: which is stronger, your loyalty to your friend or your hatred of this girl? If you think you'd snap at her at the party and embarrass yourself and make a scene, then don't go. If you think you can avoid her and support your friend, then go.
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G Harmon
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 1538
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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| playmaker8267 wrote: | | G, it comes down to one question: which is stronger, your loyalty to your friend or your hatred of this girl? If you think you'd snap at her at the party and embarrass yourself and make a scene, then don't go. If you think you can avoid her and support your friend, then go. |
Na my boy said it be ok if. I didn't go, he said he would never intive her and me to the same place but she got invited by a third party. He knows both sides of the story, her & mine and he even told her she was wrong for what she did. I can't go cause I'd honestly probably atleast catch assault if she said one thing. I never understood why people got into physical altercations with their ex/spouses but now I understand. Its something you have to experience but I'm. Smart enough to. Avoid it all together.
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G.Harmon MLB #9
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playmaker8267
Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 7929
Location: University of New Hampshire
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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| G Harmon wrote: | | Na my boy said it be ok if. I didn't go, he said he would never intive her and me to the same place but she got invited by a third party. He knows both sides of the story, her & mine and he even told her she was wrong for what she did. I can't go cause I'd honestly probably atleast catch assault if she said one thing. I never understood why people got into physical altercations with their ex/spouses but now I understand. Its something you have to experience but I'm. Smart enough to. Avoid it all together. |
Looks like you have your answer then. Good for you for recognizing a bad situation and steering clear. Not everybody has that awareness and restraint.
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Willink
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 10975
Location: Albany, NY
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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| TommyC376 wrote: | | Silver&Black88 wrote: | Damn I am so sick of every girl I meet being already taken somehow. It never fails. And it's not like the one's who don't physically have a guy there to prove it are lying either. It's pretty easy to tell when you actually speak with them.
I really have no answers for it and it's just annoying as hell. All I can think of is lifting hardcore and having the single ones show themselves because I can get looks from girls already talking to other guys as it is right now. Maybe getting jacked will just bring it all together or whatever 'cause I'm out of ideas. |
Dude welcome to NY ... its the SAME way in Buffalo. All the good/attractive girls either have a bf, are dating someone, or just got out of a real long realtionship, and wanna be single for a bit. |
It's true in Albany too.
and tbh wasn't going to mention anything but I'm in a slightly awkward situation as well.
I met a girl at work I've got a thing going with. Only issue she is 17 whereas I'm 21. 3 1/2 years isn't really that huge a difference, but in the grand scheme of things its a frustrating angle for me because their is this myopic assumption that college guys are all just immature sleezebags channeling their inner Wooderson and looking for easy catches when I'm actually seriously interested in her.
I usually never go for girls younger than me (especially high school girls, of my previous girlfriends/flings all have been my age or older exclusively), but this girl and I are just so alike its uncanny, down to her being fans of the same sports teams, having the same tastes, interests, and having the same strengths in school. Initially the whole age thing put me off as well, but the more I got to know her the less it mattered. She mirrored my SAT and ACT scores. She took AP tests without taking the classes like I did. We have the exact same sense of humor. While at work we talk 24/7. She's the only person I've ever met who wants to watch old Packers games with me. She's more mature than my 27 year old roomate last semester. I've seriously never met someone as attractive as her.
I haven't been this crazy for a girl since I was in elementary school. Going with her to see Batman tomorrow and then hanging out this weekend.
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Bowler1215
Joined: 28 Mar 2007
Posts: 5176
Location: Illinois
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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| SaveourSonics wrote: | Okay, I actually have a question.
I've been talking to this girl recently, took her out to ice cream, and partied with her the other night. Not sure if she likes me (I know, I know, "with everything you just said of course she does) but recently the main subject of our conversation has been her ex-boyfriend. Should I try to avoid this subject at all costs, not worry about it as long as she's talking to me, or already feel screwed into the friendzone considering she's already comfortable enough with me to talk about this stuff? |
The only girl I ever dated was the girl from last year. She mentioned her ex a lot. They werent apart long before we met(a week or two) so I was likely her rebound guy. From my 'experience' this girl may only like you because you dont resemble her ex. I could be wrong on that, but thats what my experience taught me.
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SaveourSonics
Joined: 20 Apr 2008
Posts: 45445
Location: Sleepless in Seattle
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| Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Bowler1215 wrote: | | SaveourSonics wrote: | Okay, I actually have a question.
I've been talking to this girl recently, took her out to ice cream, and partied with her the other night. Not sure if she likes me (I know, I know, "with everything you just said of course she does) but recently the main subject of our conversation has been her ex-boyfriend. Should I try to avoid this subject at all costs, not worry about it as long as she's talking to me, or already feel screwed into the friendzone considering she's already comfortable enough with me to talk about this stuff? |
The only girl I ever dated was the girl from last year. She mentioned her ex a lot. They werent apart long before we met(a week or two) so I was likely her rebound guy. From my 'experience' this girl may only like you because you dont resemble her ex. I could be wrong on that, but thats what my experience taught me. |
Well I should be meeting the ex relatively soon so that should be fun.
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24isthelaw
Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Posts: 5177
Location: Where the Patriots are
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 3:27 am Post subject: |
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Me and the gf talked today.... she said some pretty bitchy things to me once about a month ago if you recall. I confronted her about that just now. I told her I have a hard time trusting her because she said that stuff, and I don't wanna get led on dating a girl whose home is on the other side of the Atlantic if she isn't going to be mature and supportive (its bad enough that her parents don't like me...).
I told her I wanna take a break for a month or so and think about our relationship, until she comes back for med school this fall. I told her I'm gonna go on dates and stuff, and she's welcome to do the same, because i wanna make sure i really wanna be in this relationship.
What should I do with my single time?
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Mesa_Titan
Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Posts: 48599
Location: Kiltman on the sig!!!
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:56 am Post subject: |
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| 24isthelaw wrote: | | What should I do with my single time? |
I think the more important question is, what was her reaction?
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24isthelaw
Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Posts: 5177
Location: Where the Patriots are
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Mesa_Titan wrote: | | 24isthelaw wrote: | | What should I do with my single time? |
I think the more important question is, what was her reaction? |
She was really unhappy cause I think she feels bad but I want to make her realize she shouldn't take me for granted or anything that's all. She messed up by saying all that **** so if she's worth sticking with, she'll think about it and decide she still wants to be with me.
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ohiogenius
Joined: 11 Jul 2008
Posts: 2362
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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| 24isthelaw wrote: | | Mesa_Titan wrote: | | 24isthelaw wrote: | | What should I do with my single time? |
I think the more important question is, what was her reaction? |
She was really unhappy cause I think she feels bad but I want to make her realize she shouldn't take me for granted or anything that's all. She messed up by saying all that **** so if she's worth sticking with, she'll think about it and decide she still wants to be with me. |
You did the right thing. I wouldve just ended things and not left it as a break. I feel thats kind of unfair to both sides. You can fly if you have one foot still on the ground
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paul-mac
Joined: 12 Jul 2009
Posts: 6375
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 4:42 am Post subject: |
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Hey guys, this is the only place I can post something more or less anonymously, and I need some guy to guy advice.
I'm starting college in September, and I'm in the Facebook group for people going there etc.
Within a few weeks of joining I've already met an amazing girl. Like we're so into each other. I'd never start an online relationship, but it's so obvious something will happen once we are living on the same campus.
The problem is, I was pretty much a dork in high school(I haven't been for a few years now, but it's hard to fight your way back into the loop), so I've never had any female attention before.
Now the girl knows this and has promised to take the lead and make it amazing for me, but how can I stop it from being meh for her?
Thanks.
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TheRealMcCoy
Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Posts: 347
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| Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 7:38 am Post subject: |
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| paul-mac wrote: | Hey guys, this is the only place I can post something more or less anonymously, and I need some guy to guy advice.
I'm starting college in September, and I'm in the Facebook group for people going there etc.
Within a few weeks of joining I've already met an amazing girl. Like we're so into each other. I'd never start an online relationship, but it's so obvious something will happen once we are living on the same campus.
The problem is, I was pretty much a dork in high school(I haven't been for a few years now, but it's hard to fight your way back into the loop), so I've never had any female attention before.
Now the girl knows this and has promised to take the lead and make it amazing for me, but how can I stop it from being meh for her?
Thanks. |
Are we asking about keeping sex or a relationship from being "meh" here? I honestly can't tell.. |
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