Lé Néwcástlé Unitédé Soáp Opéra (Alléz Lé Toon)

Blahman88 · Joined: 30 Mar 2006 Posts: 21760 Location: DA BRITUSH IZLES

Newcastle United (Soap Opera) Thread

First Episode (Founded) - 1892
Set in (Stadium) - St James Park
Director (Big Fat Idiot) - Mike Ashley
Assitant Director (Big Fat Idiot Moron Friend) - Derek Llambias
Producer (Manager) - Alan Pardew
Chief of Talent Relations - Alan Carr's Father

Lead Character (Captain)
2. Fabricio Coloccini

Other Characters (In Appearence Order)

1. Tim Krul GK
2. Fabricio Coloccini
3. Davide Santon (replacing Actor Jose Enrique) DF
4. Yohan Cabaye MF
5. Danny Simpson DF (To be killed off)
6. Mike Williamson DF (Plays Rugby)
8. Vurnon Anita
9. Papiss Demba Rodney Cisse
10. Hatem Ben Arfa MF
14. James Perch DF/MF/GK/ST
15. Dan Gosling MF
16. Ryan Taylor DF
17. Roman Amalfitano MF
18. Jonas MF
19. Demba Ba FW
20. Gael Bigirimana MF
21. Rob Elliot GK
22. Sylvain Marveaux MF
23. Foluwashola Ameobi (Hero) FW
24. Cheick Tiote MF
27. Steven Taylor DF - HE'S WOKEN UP (was comatosed)
28. SAMMMMMMMMMMMMMY Ameobi MF
29. Haris Vuckic (Upcoming Talent soon to be sold to another show) FW
30. Nile Ranger (In Custody) FW
31. Shane Ferguson MF
33. Curtis Good DF
34. James Tavernier DF

Killed Off
Joey Barton
Danny Guthrie
Leon Best
Peter Lovenkrands

Outlook : Wet, like a woman near Cabaye

Blahman88 · Joined: 30 Mar 2006 Posts: 21760 Location: DA BRITUSH IZLES

Series 2

August 18: Tottenham (H) 2-1 Ba, Ben Arfa
August 23: Amitriatos (A) 1-1 R Taylor
August 25: Chelsea (A) 0-2
August 30: Amitriatos (H)
September 1: Aston Villa (H)
September 15: Everton (A)
September 22: Norwich (H)
September 29: Reading (A)
October 6: Manchester United (H)
October 20: Sunderland (A)
October 27: West Brom (H)
November 3: Liverpool (A)
November 10: West Ham (H)
November 17: Swansea (H)
November 24: Southampton (A)
November 27: Stoke (A)
December 1: Wigan (H)
December 8: Fulham (A)
December 15: Man City (H)
December 22: QPR (H)
December 26: Manchester United (A)
December 29: Arsenal (A)
January 1: Everton (H)
January 12: Norwich (A)
January 19: Reading (H)
January 29: Aston Villa (A)
February 2: Chelsea (H)
February 9: Tottenham (A)
February 23: Southampton (H)
March 2: Swansea (A)
March 9: Stoke (H)
March 16: Wigan (A)
March 30: Man City (A)
April 6: Fulham (H)
April 13: Sunderland (H)
April 20: West Brom (A)
April 27: Liverpool (H)
May 4: West Ham (A)
May 12: QPR (A)
May 19: Arsenal (H)

Series 1

Episode 1 - Arsenal (H) 0-0
Episode 2 - Dirty Mackems (A) 1-0 - R Taylor
Special Extended Episode V2 - Scunthorpe (A) 2-1 R Taylor, SAMMY
Episode 3 - Full Ham (H) 2-1 Best 2
Episode 4 - Barton Rangers (A) 0-0
Episode 5 - Mmmm Vanilla (A) 1-1 Best
Special Extended Episode V3 - Run Forest Run (A) 4-3 Lovelypants 2, Simpson, Coloccini
Episode 6 - Blackburn (H) - 3-1 Ba 3
Episode 7 - Playing with the Wolves (A) 2-1 Ba, Jonas
Episode 8 - Spores (H) 2-2 Ba, Shola
Episode 9 - Wee Gan (H) 1-0 YOHAN
Special Extended Episode V4 - Blackburn (A) 3-4 Guthrie, YOHAN, Lovelypants
Episode 10 - Stoked (A) 3-1 Ba 3
Epsiode 11 - Evertone (H) 2-1 OG Heitinga, R Taylor
Episode 12 - Manchester Blue (A) 1-3 Gosling
Episode 13 - Manchester 2nd XI (A) 1-1 Ba
Episode 14 - John Terry FC (H) 0-3
Episode 15 - Delia Smith (A) 2-4 Ba 2
Episode 16 - Wales PL FC (H) 0-0
Episode 17 - West Country Albion (H) 2-3 Ba 2
Episode 18 - Boxing Day in Bolton (A) 2-0 Ben Arfa, Ba
Episode 19 - NUFC Rejects (A) 0-3
Episode 20 - Manchester 2nd XI (H) 3-0 Ba, Cabaye, OG
FA Special Ep 1 - Blackburn (H) 2-1 Ben Arfa, Jonas
Episode 21 - The return of Joey Barton, not featuring Joey Barton (H) 1-0 Best
Episode 22 - Full Ham (A) 2-5 Guthrie, Ben Arfa
FA Special Ep 2 - Brighton (A) 0-1
Episode 23 - KEAN OUT!!! (A) 2-0 Og Obertan
Episode 24 - MCLEISH OUT!!! (H) 2-1 Ba, Cissé
Episode 25 - Tax Evasion FC (A) 0-5
Episode 26 - One in the hole FC (H) 2-2 Cissé, Jonas
Episode 27 - SCUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (H) 1-1 SHOLA!
Episode 28 - Arsenull (A) 1-2 Hatem Ben Arfa
Episode 29 - 6 Fingers (H) 1-0 Cissé
Episode 30 - Ew Ar FC (A) 3-1 Cissé 2, Ben Arfa
Episode 31 - Toon Exile FC (H) 2-0 Cissé 2
Episode 32 - Da Welsh (A) 2-0 Cissé 2
Episode 33 - Bolton (H) - 2-0 Ben Arfa, Cissé
Episode 34 - Hoofball FC (H) - 3-0 Cabaye 2, Cissé
Episode 35 - Wee Gan (A) - 0-4
Episode 36 - Champions League? You're having a laugh (A) - 2-0 Cissé 2
Episode 37 - Manchester Blue (H) 0-2
Finalé - Evertone (A) - 1-3 OG Hibbert

Goals
Demba Ba 16 (16)
Papiss Cissé 13 (13)
Hatem Ben Arfa 6 (5)
YOHAN 5 (4)
Leon Best 4 (4)
Ryan Taylor 3 (2)
Peter Lovelypants 3 (0)
Jonas 3 (2)
Shola Ameobi 2 (2)
Danny Guthrie 2 (1)
Dan Gosling 1 (1)
Gabriel Obertan 1 (1)
Danny Simpson 1 (0)
Captain Colo 1 (0)
Sammy Ameobi 1 (0)

Mr Og 4 (4)

Position = 5th
Points = 65
League Cup - R4 - Blackburn A
FA Cup - R4 - Brighton A

LeeEvans · Joined: 01 Jan 2007 Posts: 15880

The Wyzzinator · Joined: 10 Jan 2007 Posts: 13545 Location: Maryland

I had to sit through an entire highlight of last seasons St. James' horror show.. I couldn't take it if it happens again. We usually start off the season pretty strong so I'm hoping we can secure a comfortable 3 points, but the line-up will likely not really be quite set yet.
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kempus · Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 4:57 pm Post subject:

O-twn Beat-dwn · Joined: 20 Apr 2010 Posts: 1422 Location: UCF

Hey fellas!
I'll definatly try to start posting more

Anyways just to get things going whose your guys favorite current player?
For me personally I love Coloccini, absolute class he is!

He's also really nice too, haha if anyone cares when he was signing autographs after a friendly at Orlando he took his time to sign nearly everyone's, and every time they told him they were leaving he said "yea yea" and stayed for like another 20 min.

Also when Steven Taylor came out he looked depressed and someone said "cheer up the season hasn't started yet" and he actually had a good laugh

Oh love me some Shola too but who dosnt?
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^^Jamison. on sig!

Blahman88 · Joined: 30 Mar 2006 Posts: 21760 Location: DA BRITUSH IZLES

It's hard to say who my favourite player is, as Ashley is selling them all.......

Tiote for me, just a no nonsense Defensive Midfielder who will kick you as much as look at you........<3
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AlexM23 · Joined: 03 Jan 2011 Posts: 7729 Location: Australia

Haven't been following the Mike Ashley show for the past week, seems like I missed a whole lot of Joey staying and Joey leaving.

Get me another striker and a leftback before the season starts and I'm happy.
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Kiltman on the sig

Blahman88 · Joined: 30 Mar 2006 Posts: 21760 Location: DA BRITUSH IZLES

0-0 yesterday in a 69 minute game against Fiorentina......decent showing, Yohan Cabaye looks real comfortable on the ball....

And Opening Post updated....
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AlexM23 · Joined: 03 Jan 2011 Posts: 7729 Location: Australia

Sounds like Haris Vuckic has had a real nice pre-season, I've got high hopes for him

But if they going into the season with Ba, Ameobi, Best, Lovenkrands and Vukic I will be concerned.
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Blahman88 · Joined: 30 Mar 2006 Posts: 21760 Location: DA BRITUSH IZLES

Definitely, and Haris is more of a Nolan type, just off the front two.......I still think we need two strikers, Ba is just too injury prone
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dhunt2402 · Joined: 24 Nov 2007 Posts: 16666 Location: The District

Obertan for 3m. Highway robbery Wink

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Blahman88 · Joined: 30 Mar 2006 Posts: 21760 Location: DA BRITUSH IZLES

kempus · Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:43 am Post subject:

Im definitely going to be following this thread.

'Joey Barton (To be killed off)'

That is pure gold Laughing

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kempus · Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:44 am Post subject: