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FFWF (Fantasy Pro Wrestling)
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Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 18736
Location: Sarasota, FL.
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

List of (upcoming) Tour Dates and Locations

3/27/12 - Toyota Center, Houston, Texas (Alpha is LIVE)

4/3/12 - The Pit (University of New Mexico), Albuquerque, New Mexico (Alpha is LIVE)

4/10/12 - US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona (Alpha is LIVE)

4/17/12 - Neal Blaisdell Center, Honalulu, Hawaii (Alpha is LIVE)

4/24/12 - HP Pavilion at San Jose, San Jose, California (Alpha is LIVE)

4/29/12 - Staples Center, L.A., California (PPV!!!, Extremely Loud & Unpredictably Close)
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Victor Cruz Pun

Joined: 11 Feb 2012
Posts: 10336
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man who appears restless is shown in an igloo with a light winter jacket and sweatpants on. Heís seated at a round table that seems to take up most of the room in the igloo. Thereís no electronics in sight. a coloring book, a puzzle with about 20 pieces, a foldable wheelchair, dentures, and a fishing rod are spread out on the floor in a weird arrangement as if thrown across the room in one of his many violent mood swings. Thereís a variety of fish on the table along with forks plates, glass cups, etc. He has all the cups filled with water and plates with fish even though heís alone at the table. He begins to talk at a fast pace.

Lebron: Thatís all toast to the fact that were leaving this miserable excuse of a place and head off to actual civilization!

Lebron lifts his cup up and gently taps it in different areas in the air.

Lebron (with a different personality, that of his mom.): So son now that youíre a pro wrestler will you stop by every once in a while still?

Lebron: I donít know thereís a lot of time thatís going to be spent traveling now that Iím in the FFWF.

Lebron,mom: PleaseÖ

Lebron: THATíS IT!!!

Lebron grabs a glass cup from the table and smashed it over his head causing multiple lacerations and a well of bleeding from his head. The snow on the ground was now painted in blood.

Lebron,Dad: What the hell are you doing?

Lebron,Mom: Oh my, we need to get you to a hospital immediately!

Lebron: No the last time we went there I was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and he kept trying to give me treatement. So what if I have multiple personality disorder that just means thereís more meís to love.
mission27 wrote:
I would consider myself an extremely aggressive person, though not violent.

For example, I once attacked a stray dog.

thelawoffices wrote:
You guys are dumb af

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Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Posts: 11590
Location: Belleville, Illinois
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A new video has surfaced on the FFWF website.

The video is black in the beginning as a theme song begins to play. The words "The Future," "England's Finest," "So Damn Good," "1 Week," "The Time is Now," flash across the screen 3 times.

Then the screen shows a picture of England's flag, and then a well built man in a suit is facing away from the camera. He simply holds up his right pinky high in the air, and the video fades back to black.
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Joined: 20 Nov 2005
Posts: 48868
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No joke- not kidding- Lebron lets be BFF

via tweeter
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Joined: 20 Nov 2005
Posts: 48868
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

it'll be like Delonte and you all over again

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Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 18736
Location: Sarasota, FL.
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote


Opens to an empty arena. Camera pans slow as a voice over (after a delay) begins...


(Camera continues slowly spinning outward so as to give you a better idea of the immense size of the empty arena.)


(Camera continues on its course. Almost drawn outward, all the while now holding a wrestling ring in focus.)

An animal that naturally preys on others.

(In the line of sight you can make out an entrance and ramp leading to the ring in the very center of the empty arena.)

A rapacious, exploitative person or group.

(Camera come to a stop. Perfectly lined up looking downward at the ring, ramp, and entrance.)

A god to the weak.

(Suddenly all of the lights in the arena go out. All except one. A light spotlighting the FFWF logo on the side of the ring. [in your head time it with when the heavy part of the song drops])

FFWF Alpha


.....only on FX!
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Location: Sarasota, FL.
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


Obscene Amount of Fireworks

Darryl Sunquist - Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome everyone to the NEW destination for your TV on Tuesday nights. FFWF Alpha! My partner to my left, Lance "Thousand Island" Killings and I am Darryl Sunquist. But before we get started with anything right here, FFWF Owner and Commissioner Dustin Franklin Bishop is standing in the ring....

(Cameras cut to Bishop, standing in the ring wearing a sport cut charcoal grey suit and a smile from ear to ear.)

Bishop - Houston, Texas!

(Loud Pop)

Bishop - Tonight you are the place that history is made. Thank you for having us and we look forward to returning many more times as we overtake other companies and claim our rightful spot as the premiere brand in professional wrestling!

(Loud Pop)

Bishop - Tonight begins a FFWF Tournament that means everything to me and the board of directors. We want to know who is the cream of the crop in this company and we know you do too!

(A minor ET80 chants starts, but dies down soon after)

Bishop - So without further adieu, and because I know you guys didn't come here to hear me talk.... Let's get the first episode of Alpha under way!

Commercial Break

Sunquist - And we are back, live in Houston, Texas. Home of good food, good people, and FFWF wrestling.

Killings - Home of the Oilers, Mario Williams, and Yao Min-...

Sunquist - Oh geez! Let's go to the ring.

That Smell by Lynyrd Skynyrd hits.




Sunquist - This is exciting. The time has finally arrived. Let's see what these boys have in the tank. Do you like Benny's chances in this match, Thousand Island??

Killings - Short or long answer?

Sunquist - Long answer, I guess. Let's tell stories with our words.

Killings - No.

Blares over the PA


(Crowd boos)


Sunquist - And here he is. The long awaited debut of Mr. Nice Guy. The one. The only. Mikey Scars.

Killings - What a suit this guy is wearing! I wonder how many paychecks you would have to save up to even entertain the idea of buying a suit like that?

Sunquist - It's been rough with the economy and all. Suits have kind of been casualties of war at the Sunquist home...

(Mikey Scars shakes his boys hands and enters the ring, jogs around a little and flicks his hand under his chin and that fan favorite, the 6'7 318 lb behemoth Alvarez.)

Bell Rings

Sunquist - Annnnd we are under way. Collar and elbow tie-up. Alvarez gains the upper hand. Head lock by Alvarez. Hoists him over and drives Scars into the mat with a headlock takeover. Headlock continues to be applied now as Scars gives the thumb up to his boys to let them know he's okay.

Killings - Do you find it strange that Scars has more friends around the ring right now then you do in your actual life?

Sunquist - It is a little perplexing. I will give you that. Alvarez now, sends Scars into the ropes, Scars ricochets back and Alvarez, elbow to the sternum and Scars is down again.

Killings - Everytime Alvarez reminds me he didn't lose a match the first 6 years of his career, I remind him that I sleep with 6 different girls on a nightly basis.

Sunquist - Classy, Thousand Island. Alvarez really rolling now. Cousin Vinny jumps on the apron. Alvarez sees him and runs over and levels him with a forearm shiver that sends him flying into the barricade. Scars back up to his feet. ALVAREZ TURNS INTO A FLATLINER TYPE MOVE. HE REALLY CRANKED BACK ON THAT NECK! Alvarez is down.

(Crowd boos)

Killings - Serves Alvarez right for smacking Cousin Vinny like that. I hate when big guys think they can just push the rest of us around like that.

Sunquist - Scars putting the boots the 318 lb sensation out of Mexico City.

Killings - Scars is no small man himself. 6'3 235 lbs? Fuhget uhbout it!

Sunquist - Fans, I apologize for subjecting you to that awful impression. Alvarez tries to clothesline Scars who is coming at him full speed, Scars ducks, comes back the other way.... double handed smash to the mid-section, Alvarez is doubled over and looks to be in all kinds of trouble.

Killings - Scars gonna Scar.

Sunquist - That makes no sense, but thanks for the input, Thousand Island.

Killings - You're welcome.


Killings - Isn't it illegal to be that strong AND Mexican??

Sunquist - Alvarez opening up with rights and lefts. Suplex by Alvarez. Another one by Alvarez. Scars in in a world of hurt. Cousin Vinny back on the apron, BIG BOOT to him from Alvarez!

Killings - FFWF Senior Referee Vic Mourning has completely lost control of this match!

Sunquist - Alvarez going back to work on Scars as Conlies and Fat Tony check on the health of Cousin Vinny. Gutwrench powerbomb by Alvarez! Cover! 1..... 2.... SCARS GETS HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE.

Killings - We call that ring presence in the commentating biz!

Sunquist - Fat Tony is trying to get Alvarez's attention. This is like fending off the mob! Joe Conolies is still on the other side of the ring trying to make Cousin Vinny come to.


Sunquist - High impact suicide dive to the outside for Fat Tony!!! And now he's laying into his head with fists a plenty!!

Killings - Get up Mikey Scars!!

Sunquist - Scars still out like a light from that gutwrench bomb. Alvarez back into the ring and dragging Scars to the center of the ring. I think he's setting Scars up for his finisher Turning the Tables!

Killings - Joe Conolies is trying to explain to the ref that Benny "the Best" Alvarez is a dirty Mexican!!

Sunquist - I dunno about all that but he's definitely distracting the official. Scars manages to avoid the blackhole slam known as Turning the Tables, wait a minute... Cousin Vinny is back up and he seems to have made some sort of hand off to Scars as he countered the finisher.

Killings - I think he gave him a high five.

Sunquist - Alvarez sees Cousin Vinny up and at 'em and lays him out one more time with another forearm shot to the dome. What's that in Mikey's hand?? Is that brass knuckles?

Killings - It's hard to say from this angle. Could be anything. My gut is telling me it's something hip the kids wear when they teach each other how to dougie.

Sunquist - HE JUST LEVELED ALVAREZ WITH THE KNUCKS. Scars falls on top of him as Conolies finally lets the ref turn around.





(Crowd boos loudly)

Sunquist - Alvarez was robbed, Thousand Island.

Killings - Well that's because of the area he lives in, but what does that have to do with this match?


Sunquist - As we return let's watch a replay of the ending of that last match. You can clearly see brass knucks be handed to Scars as he avoids the Turning the Tables. And right there Thousand Island, watch this. BOOM! Right between the eyes.

Killings - Sometimes your hatred for all things Italian disturbs me.

Sunquist - Next match please....

(Tiny Dancer by Elton John plays as the Babe makes his way to the ring)

Killings - Don't you ever find it weird that the Babe calls himself the Babe but he looks like he's 45 years old?

Different colored lights dominate our vision


(Crowd erupts and begins dancing and clapping their hands)

Killings - This guys annoys me on a level that once upon a time I only reserved for extreme couponers and people who wear boat shoes to the mall.

Bell rings

Sunquist - Before we get started here, Tako seems intent on leading the crowd in some clapping and having fun. The Babe stands by an allows the young fella to get his groove thang on.

Killings - How great would it be if Tako tore a muscle in his arm clapping or something in his leg doing that stupid dance he does?

Sunquist - It appears we're ready for action now. The two men shake hands. Respect overflowing in this second contest of the FFWF tournament. Tako lands a knife edge chop, the Babe fires one right back at him. Tako lands another knife edge chop and does a standing back flip and screams out "WE READY!"

Killings - I hate him and his stupid orange shorts and his stupid tennis shoes. He looks like Jack Nicholson in the original Batman.

Sunquist - Be that as it may, Take comes off the ropes with a drop kick that sends the Babe rolling backwards. Take goes for a cover. Two count. fast paced action now, as the Babe lands his own knife edge chop and follows with an irish whip into the corner. The Babe charges in with a body splash and lands it. Take out on his feet now it would appear, the babe goes for a spinebuster nut Tako reverses it with a roll through...



...Kick out!

Killings - All this movement is making my contacts dry out.

Sunquist - Tako back in control with his own dropkick, somehow managing to backflip in the process. Leg drop by Tako. And another. Goes for a cover. Another close two count.

Killings - When does this guy tire out?

Sunquist - I don't think he does. The Babe now with a spinning neck breaker and a two count of his own. He goes for a flying shoulder block off the top rope but Tako catches him with a pinpoint spinning backkick.

(Crowd cheers)

Killings - Oh god. More dancing.

Sunquist - Tako plants the Babe with a sit-out gourdbuster and kips up. He appears ready to deliver his world famous spear.

Killings - I never knew he delivered a spear until literally 2 seconds ago when you said it.

Sunquist - SPEAR! SPEAR! SPE-.... no. The Babe rolls out of the way. The Babe fires back with another knife edge chop and now hoists him up for his finisher Fire in the Hole. Oh my god he NAILS it. And now the rear naked choke is one. WHAT A STARTLING TURN OF EVENTS!!!

Killings - Tako is gonna tap. He's gonna tap! I hope Bishop fires him for being a little [inappropriate/removed]!

Sunquist - Tako hasn't tapped yet. And the crowd is on their feet clapping and dancing. What a sight!

Killings - This show of solidarity is making me sick to my stomach.

Sunquist - Tako is fighting. Fighting. He's almost to the ropes....

Killings - Are these rings regulation?


Killings - This is absurd. I honest to god hate this guy.

Sunquist - The Babe releases the rear naked choke and drags Tako back into the center of the rin-... OH NO.

Killings - Are you kidding me??

Sunquist - Tako, small package!

Killings - That's what she said...

Sunquist - 1.... 2... 3!

Killings - NO! Kick out!

Sunquist - KICK OUT! The Babe kicked out. Incredible. Tako looks perplexed, but head official Vic Mourning assures him the count is legit!

Killings - Does anyone else think Mourning looks like Shawn's dad in Psych?

Sunquist - The babe to his feet now. Tako as well. The two men go back to exchanging chops. Double handed chop by the Babe. Levels Tako. the Babe comes off the rope looking for a scissor kick. Tako comes to life! SKYHIGH! SKYHIGH DROP. I THINK THE BABE IS OUT!

Killings - Where did that come from??

Sunquist - ....1.... 2... 3!



Sunquist - Thousand island, you didn't say much during the break.

Killings - I just lost $9500 on that last match. I'm not in the mood to exchange pleasantries when the cameras are not rolling.

Sunquist - Fair enough. Time for the next match!

(So Cold by Breaking Benjamin hits the loud speakers signifying the entrance of Davidson)

Sunquist - Keary Davidson "the Fresh Maker". Thousand Island, are you a fan?

Killings - I would be a bigger fan if he would hurry up and get out here.

Sunquist - Davidson set to face the Dove Giver in this first rou-... Wait a minute. We're actually getting word from the back that something has happened.

(Cameras cut to the back where we find Olivia Cortez in a mad house of FFWF officials)

Cortez - Guys. It's insane back here. Word has it that no one has seen Davidson for the last hour and that his locker room was locked shut from the inside. After he no-showed the 5 minute curtain call officials broke in to his locker room and found what appeared to be dove feathers and an actual picture of a dead dove. That's all we have for now, but I heard Bishop talking on the phone and it sounds like they are throwing out the match. I'll let you guys know if I hear anything else.


Sunquist - Folks, a remarkable turn of events. It appears that Keary Davidson has... disappeared. I... I really don't know what else to say.

Killings - So what happens now? Is this next match not only for a spot in the 2nd round but also an automatic path into the 3rd round?

Sunquist - I... I guess so...

(One by Metallica can be heard as Thanos makes his way to the ring)

Killings - Okay, there's Thanos. At least we actually have matches where the participants show up.

Sunquist - I truly believe Davidson wanted to be here tonight. I'm not entirely sure what happened. Could this have anything to do with those dove commercials?

Killings - The soap commercials with Tom Izzo and Shaq?

Sunquist - Oh geez.

(Savior by Skillet hits to an enormous ovation)


Killings - Have we figured out what this guy is saving us from?

(Bell rings signifying the beginning of the match)

Sunquist - Match under way now, Thanos runs in aggressively and bullies Savior into the corner. Ref asks for a clean break but Thanos goes to the eyes and starts bashing his head in with closed fists.

Killings - 6'3 232 lbs, I wonder if Thanos is going to regard the ref as he tells him to stop with the shenanigans?

Sunquist - This match is almost a mirror match. Savior is the same height and exactly one pound less. Both men trading punches. Savior goes low to the mid section. Another kick to the knee. Savior bounces of the rope and takes the big man down with a shoulder block. Savior coming off the ropes again and plants Thanos with a knee shiver to the temple.

Killings - These people are clearly behind Savior and I'm clearly behind my theory that Houston is full of inbred hicks that lack the physical make-up to combat the common cold.

Sunquist - Thanos out of nowhere plants Savior with a rising clothesline!! Thanos now turning it on. Driving his elbows into the shoulder of Savior. Savior trying to fight out of this. Thanos with a scoop slam.


Killings - I can't do my job is these people continue to chant obscenities.

Sunquist - ....

Killings - He's got Savior up in the rack!

Sunquist - Is Savior gonna tap?? Savior fighting. Fighting. He slips out. Russian legsweep. Both men are down and in a lot of pain.

Killings - Savior favoring that lower back.

Sunquist - This match means so much because as we found out earlier, someone took out Davidson and the Dove Giver is nowhere to be found. So this match is for a right to face the winner of Mikey Scars and Mike Tako. That match of course happening next week, right here, only on Alpha.

Killings - Thanos is really impressing me with this brawling strategy. Look at the way the action has spilled outside.

Sunquist - Right here at the announce booth. Thanos slams Savior's head into the announce table. No! No! He's exposing a section of the floor. THAT'S CONCRETE!

Killings - Someone needs to save the Savior.

Sunquist - OH MY GOD. THANOS JUST HIP TOSSED SAVIOR RIGHT ONTO THE CONCRETE. This has gotten completely out of control!

Killings - I think I actually heard Savior's ribs cry out for a medic.

Sunquist - Thanos rolls Savior's limp body into the ring. The 3 count soon to follow. Thanos taunts a little of course before the finish.

Killings - You know what? I think Thanos is my pick to win this thing.

Sunquist - Cover. 1, 2, ....

Killings - Did he really just kick out? The ref should be fired.

Sunquist - Thanos looks pissed. Jason "Son of Slam" Thanos appears to be setting Savior up for the Bronx Bomb. Hoists him up in the air... wait, no. Savior is fighting out of it. Punching him in the face. Thanos has no choice but to drop Savior down. On his feet now Savior continues his assault. Rights. Lefts. He irish whips Thanos into the ropes. HIGH KNEE. Now a scoop slam. Savior really cooking now as he comes off the ropes with a drop kick to the seated "Son of Slam". How is Savior not only doing all fo this but even standing?

Killings - Oh god. He's calling for his Hurricane Drop.

Sunquist - That F5 - type maneuver that used to be used by former champion Brock Lesnar. Savior has him up...

Killings - Ugh. It's over.

Sunquist - Savior hits it1 1.... 2... 3!

Feathers - The winner of this match.... SAVIOR!


(cuts to the back, Cousin Vinny, Fat Tony, and Joe Conolies are seen walking in the back, camera pans out and you can see the Savior having his ribs tended to by a FFWF medical team)

Vinny - Heyz. Use guyz. Checks this out? We gotz ourselvez a real goomba right here.

Savior - Guys, I don't...-

Conolies - Shut it youz rib broken mother-....

Tony - Hey! Hey! Hey! Watch it, there's kids watching. Savior we's just wanted to congratulate you on your victory and bring you a message from Mikey.

Savior - Oh yeah? What's that?

(all three men jump the Savior and focus in on the rips as the medical staff scatter. At some point Fat Tony delivers a rib breaker over his knee to Savior. Conolies grabs a nearby pipe and starts wailing on Savior's exposed ribs. Finally FFWF officials stop the beating. Savior does not look good and somehow is not bleeding from the lip)

Sunquist - Well, we're back and can you believe what those thugs just did, Thousand Island??

Killings - Sometimes I wonder how you got a job Sunquist. you just said thugS as in plural. There's only one Savior. He's the only thug I saw in all of that.

Sunquist - You mean to tell me you think it was the Saviors fault he just got jumped???

Killings - Did you hear him mouth off to those guys?

Sunquist - The Savior doesn't mouth off to anyone! Next match please.

(I Like Pigs - by The Pig Farmer's Uncle hits the PA and outcomes everybody's favorite Pig Farmer)

Killings - This guy is possibly my favorite wrestler of all-time. Look at that physique!

Sunquist - .....



Feathers - LEBROOOOOOOOOOOOON.................................. BONDS!!!!!


Sunquist - And we're back. Action in the ring has started. Pig Farmer farming for a 1st round victory as he locks Bonds up in a modified camel clutch.

Killings - By modified... don't you mean "totally awesome"?

Sunquist - Speaking of totally awesome, make sure you order FFWF Extrememly Loud & Incredibly Close, 4/29/12. Live on PPV. That night we will officially crown our first FFWF Champion!

Killings - That's all well and good but notice how the Pig Farmer has snuck a chair into the ring. I love this guy.

Sunquist - The chair is unfolded and sitting in the ring. What's Pig farmer doing?! Oh god, no! He just did a rubber band suplex using the ring ropes to propel Bonds over and crashing into that chair.

Killings - Time to drop that chair off with Goodwill.

Sunquist - Cover. 1... 2... Kick out.

(Crowd starts chanting Jun-eau! Jun-eau!)

Killings - How can these fans not be on board with the violent stylings of the Pig Farmer!?

Sunquist - The Pig Farmer is making a motion around his mouth as if he has tusks and is ready to zero in on some tasty roots.

Killings - I am amazed you were able to say that with a straight face.

Sunquist - Well, I'm a professional. Pig Farmer hooks the arms of Bonds. It's time to Uproot someone! No. Bonds reverses it into a float over DDT!

Killings - What a crafty little doodle pumpkin!

Sunquist - Bonds, now. Seems to be feeding off the crowd. A sold out Houston crowd that can't get enough of Lebron Bonds. Bonds with a knee breaker. And another. Now a chop block. He seems to be setting up the Pig Farmer for his trademark sharpshooter called the Guess Who.

Killings - I know who you are. idiot.

Sunquist - No. Not "guess who?" It's his moves nam-... Never mind. DDT off the turnbuckle by Bonds! That move is called Who Am I?!

Killings - You're Darryl Sunquist. What kind of game are you playing right now.

Sunquist - ....anyways. Bonds has the sharpshooter locked on in the middle of the ring. I think... I think...

Killings - Hold on little Piggy! Hold on you beautiful, beautiful, Pig farmer!

Sunquist - HE TAPS! HE TAPPED!

Feathers - The WINNER of the match! LEBRON.... BONDS!!!!



(when we come back Olivia Cortez is in the back with Smoove, ready for an interview)

Cortez - My guest at this time, is J.T. Smoove. Smoove, how do you feel about your match tonight?

Smoove - So I get placed in the tourney to determine who gets my championship tonight. This isn't right, Bishop is screwing me once again and you guys don't care. This is preposterous, egregious, outrageous. On top of that, I have to face your home town hero ET. Here's a fact for you people. ET is a liar. He's from Brazil. He has led you on to support him. He is absolute scum and you shouldn't be rooting for him. But ET is not the main focus here. Tonight should be my coronation ceremony as the only FFWF World Champion and I will have that ceremony whether I get the title or not. Once I take care of ET and the rest of this pathetic roster, then I will get Bishop right where I want him and then take care of him.

(Smoove storms off. Cortez looks stunned, yet still very, very, pretty...)

Sunquist - Thousand Island, interesting words from Smoove. Do you think there's any truth there?

Killings - Of course I do. It's a known fact that Bishop and the FFWF is trying to hold Smoove back. It's like NBA/Rockets scandal when the NBA gave them those two championships in the 90s.

Sunquist - Time for our next match, fans. I'm sorry for my partner...

(Rolling in the Deep by Adele hits and out comes Rumba perez. He gets in the rings and stretches and psyches up the crowd.)

Killings - Time for... THE PEST!!

(Lights dim and the fans start to murmur. All of a sudden the lights come back on and with no musical accompaniment, Mr. Dustin Franklin Bishop makes his way to the ring. He quietly nods at Rumba and shakes his hand before taking the mic.)

Bishop - Houston fans. I am so sorry. This match will not be taking place. Mr. Rumba Perez. I award you the victory and a spot in the 2nd round of the tournament. Congratulations.

(Rumba Perez dances and grabs his genitals in glee.)

Bishop - As for the Pest. He has given me a hand-written.. albeit, sloppily penned message that I am going to now read out loud.

Mr. Bishop,

Just not feeling it. Wish I could say something witty here to disparage my opponent Mr. Rumba Perez, but to be honest he's just so boring I can't even think of a good insult. I guess what I'm saying is that he sucks so hard that 1) I don't care and 2) my verbiage would end up coming out like Mr. Tako's- I'd just talking about dancing for an hour, and no one wants that.

I forfeit. Let Lebron or Brandon Lee face him. Second thought- don't let Mr. Lee fight him. I don't want any doves to s*** on me. Does he have to get a permit for those things?

The Pest

P.S. Can you still tell Tako that I want him to come over so we can dance and have fun because we both like having fun? Tell him I have pizza, pop and popcorn. My parents might be home, but they go to bed at 11 so we can rage and play Just Dance 2 until the sun rises. And tell him to bring Tacos.

(Crowd boos heavily and chants for Tako, the Tako chant eventually is drowned out and turns into an incredibly loud chant for ET80. The loudest chant so far tonight.)

Bishop - I know, I know. I give you my word that I will be working with the board this upcoming week to try to get a sit-down disciplinary meeting with the Pest and to try to figure out just where his mind is at. This is a tremendous opportunity that he seemingly could just... do with out. Once again, I'm sorry.

(crowd boos and throws a few things at the ring. Bishop shakes Rumba's hand and leaves the ring to the back.)

Sunquist - That sucks. I was really looking forward to that one.

(Rumba stays in the ring and continues to doing cartwheels and flexing. At one point he points to the fans and leads them in a chant that goes a little something like "la-la-la- bamba!"

(lights go out as the crowd oohs and ahs)

Killings - Sunquist, don't you dare steal my wallet! What's going on.

(crowd continues to buzz as they sit in complete darkness)

Sunquist - This is extremely odd.

Killings - Somewhere in there is a plug for our next PPV....

(lights come back on and Rumba Perez is face down in the ring. All of a sudden dove feathers rain down from the rafters. Millions, and millions of white dove feathers.)

Sunquist - What in the...

Killings - Is this even sanitary? It has to be against some kind of laws to kill that many doves....

Sunquist - It does seem a little excessive...


(instant replay of the phenomenal display of dove feathers raining down in the Toyota Center, in Houston)

Sunquist - Well, the clean up crew just earned their money. We tried to do as much as we could cleaning up all those feathers. But as they say, the show must go on and now we kick it to.... wait for it, Wilson Feathers!

Killings - (nods in approval and fist bumps Sunquist)


(This Fire Burns hits and Smoove can be seen via spotlight making his way through the crowd. He finds his way to the guardrail, hops it and slides in the ring to a chorus of boos and "you suck" chants)

Killings - Oh boy, the roof is about to come off this place...

(Lights go out, spotlight on Feathers)


Crowd Erupts into a deafening ovation for their hometown boy

(ET80 slowly walks out and takes in the rawkus Houston crowd chanting his name, some fans throw MMA gloves into the aisle as he walks past. it's quite a spectacle.)

Sunquist - This is insanity. Listen to this response from our fans.

Killings - I didn't know a town full of chain smokers could make any kind of noise for this amount of time with no breaks to eat cheese-its.

Sunquist - The bell rings and this incredible 1st round match is under way. Smoove and ET80 collar and elbow tie-up. Wrist lock by ET80, wrings it one more time. Spins Smoove around into a standing armbar. Smoove reverses that into a hammerlock, ET80 fights through and transitions into another standing wristlock, that is once again countered by Smoove into a full nelson, ET80 spins through into a standing guillotine, Smoove lifts ET80 into the air and counters that with a front atomic drop. Smoove now with a standing headlock, roll through by ET80.... DDT by ET80, fluidly right into an armbar! Marvelous chain wrestling by both wrestlers involved.

Killings - I'm glad you get paid for play-by-play.

Sunquist - Smoove reaches the ropes. ET80 finally lets go right before a count reached deep waters. ET80 floats over and applies a Darce choke, which Smoove front flips through. Smoove now, head of steam off the ropes as ET80 makes his way back up to his feet. Smoove looking for a shining wizard, but ET80 floors him with a leg lariat. Immediately mouting Smoove and delivering punches from the mounted position.

Killings - Get him off of him ref. ET80 has clearly regressed in his mind to a time where it's okay to beat people up in an environment where there is no rules....

Sunquist - I think he's just fighting the only way he knows, Thousand Island. With that being said, MARVELOUS drop kick by Smoove that catches ET80 coming off the top rope. Action fast and furious now. Hard to keep up. Smoove lands a double underhook suplex on ET80. Goes for a cover. 2 count. Smoove right back in it though. Head and arm suplex followed by a lion sault. thought ET80 would get the knees up there, but he didn't. Another 2 count.

Killings - You also probably thought Hakeem Olajuwon was the best Center in the NBA.

Sunquist - Smoove, now finding his offense. Places ET80 on the top rope. This looks bad. Goes for a double underhook powerbomb off the top rope by ET80 appears to be blocking it. Smoove is really trying to send a message here tonight. ET80 continues to block... wait a minute. Smoove got it off.... NO. WHAT A REVERSAL!

Killings - I think Smoove is dead.

Sunquist - ET80 somehow reversed the top rope underhook powerbomb into an x-factor face crusher. Both men are down and not moving.



Killings - I think I saw Smoove move.

Sunquist - ET80 pulls himself up by the ropes. Smoove up now too. Smoove charges but gets stopped dead in his tracks by a leg kick. Now another kick, this time to the mid-section. Now a spin kick by ET80 to the chest. CODEBREAKER by ET80. ET80 is back to his feet and his smiling sadistically, licking his lips. The crowd loves it.

(crowd chants "ET")

Killings - I can admit when I'm wrong, and today I was wrong. I did not think there was any word in the world the people of Houston, Texas could spell.

Sunquist - ET80 once again goes to the top rope. He REALLY wants that top rope dropkick, the second time this match he is going for it. Comes off the top rope....

....NO! Smoove caught him and reverses it into a sharpshooter. Oh. My. god.

Killings - Look how much pain ET80 is in! I'm loving this.

(crowd is begging for ET to make it out of this)

Sunquist - What's ET80 doing. He's hooking Smoove's leg. It looks like he's trying to trip him. Oh no. ET JUST REVERSED SMOOVE'S SHARPSHOOTER INTO A SHARPSHOOTER OF HIS OWN. THIS IS OUTSTANDING.

(crowd begins to stir, something is going on, a commotion of sorts)

Killings - Is there a fight in the crowd?

Sunquist - Smoove is refusing to tap!

Killings - I think I see someone in the crowd wearing a leather jacket with ridiculously long studs.

Sunquist - There's a fight going on IN the ring, right now!

Killings - Agree to disagree!

Sunquist - Smoove makes it to the ropes but ET80 doesn't seem to realize it. Boy is he ever intense! The ref is trying to get him to break the hold, ET finally does.. Wait a minute! Smoove just kicked ET80 backwards causing him to backhand/shoved the official. The ref is out cold.

Killings - ET80 has snapped and I'm going to start a petition to get him kicked out of this company!

Sunquist - Someone has jumped the guardrail, Thousand Island!

Killings - Is he by any chance wearing a leather jacket with studs and dirty jeans???

Sunquist - THAT's... THAT's... That's the PEST!! I thought he NO SHOWED the event tonight!! Smoove is rolling on the ground, screaming in pain!! That sharpshooter took its toll

Killings - Oh, look at that. WHO'S THE GUY WHO BREAKS THE TOP STORIES NOW??

Sunquist - The Pest is in the ring! What is he carrying!??!

Killings - I think he's probably just going to inform both guys he's a huge fan and excited to work with them.

Sunquist - ET80 doesn't see him! Is that a huge framed picture of the MMA heartthrob Tom Lawlor!? ET80 lost to Tom Lawlor over a year ago during his last professional MMA fight. OH NO!

Killings - Oh this is great.

Sunquist - He just bashed ET80 over the head with that hideous picture of Tommy Lawlor. ET80 is out! The Pest is now making some kind of motion, like he's dipping tostitos into some bean dip. Now he's slapping ET80 in the face and screaming at him. What's that he's saying??

Killings - He just said that ET80 couldn't beat Tommy Lawlor if he had Anderson Silva's legs and Chael Sonnen's everything else!

Sunquist - Get him out of there! Thank god, he's leaving. Meanwhile, Smoove is crawling over and draps an arm over the prone body of ET80.

(Houston fans throw trash and call out to the Pest informing him that he is an a-hole)

Killings - Finally, the ref decides to return to the land of the living.

Sunquist - ........1.... No!...2... THIS ISN"T RIGHT!

Killings - 3!!!!

Feathers - THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...... J...... T...................... SMOOOOOOOOVE!!!!


(shows replay of everything that just transpired)

Sunquist - I would hate to be the Pest when ET80 wakes up.

Killings - You would hate to be intelligent, cunning, and a visionary?

Sunquist - The Pest is no visionary. He's a sociopath. He no showed his match, but felt the need to interfere in another match entirely. It's not right!

Killings - Marrying your sister isn't right but somehow people in Houston get away with it...

Last Commercial

(Promo for next week's Alpha)

Sunquist - Time for the Main Event!


(Pink lighting hits

(Hart Thompson makes his way to the ring to the support of this jacked Houston crowd.)

Sunquist - Hart Thompson looks ready to go to war here tonight. I don't know about you Thousand Island, but I have been looking forward to this match since it was announced. Easily the most exciting first round match!

Killings - Oh, I'm looking forward to it. But not because of Hart Thompson. But because of THIS man....


(Bittersweet hits!

Sunquist - England's Finest in the house tonight! 6'2 237 lbs. Arguably the best wrestler England has produced since William Regal!

Killings - Rumor has it, he is one million different people from one day to the next!

Sunquist - I wish he would be someone who would hurry up and get out here...

(crowd boos the long delay. Still no SDG [So Damn Good])

Killings - I'm sure there's an explanation for this. Look here comes Mr. Bishop.

(Bishop makes his way to the ring with a frown on his face)

Bishop - Fans, I am sorry that the night has to end on this note but hopefully we make it up to you next week because I have a blockbuster main event to announce. First of all, Hart Thompson, you advance. Congratulations. Now get out of this ring before the lights go out and you someone decides to cost me another law suit with the WWF (world wildlife...). Tonight, a lot of wrestlers decided to no-show their matches. Perhaps that's my fault for not laying down the law firmly enough. In FFWF, we wrestle. On Alpha we find out who is the best. And next week we find out who is the best between the gentlemen who decided they didn't need to show up for work today.

(crowd pops)

Bishop - Next week, we're going to have a cage match. Dove Giver v. the Pest v. So Damn Good... but there's a catch.

(crowd quiets)

Bishop - The last person left in the cage. The one person who doesn't make it out of the cage next week on Alpha......

(crowd listens on the edge of their seat)

Bishop - Will be left in that cage, IMMEDIATELY AFTER, for 5 minutes with a man who is pissed off right now. ET80!!!!

(enormous pop)

Bishop - And if any of you three no show the event next week....


(Bishop drops the mic and walks out to a thunderous ovation as the FFWF tag line comes up and Sunquist and Killings argue over the announcement)

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Promo Video...

The camera pans around a room light only by a old stone fireplace. Flames flickering with crackles filling the room. A lone man dressed in black is sitting at a chair in the middle of the room facing the fire. He is sharpening something in his hand slowly.

This match...will be the beginning...of many to come on my rise to power. It is a shame that these men will be laying at my feet when the night ends. The sign of the dove will lay over all of them.

The camera zooms in on three pictures above the fireplace. Dove Giver's voice is in the background. "One" as a fancy knife cut smooth and thin slices dead center through the picture of the Pest, "by one, by one" two flashes of silver blur the screen by knives split the pictures of So Damn God and ET. The camera zooms out to the original shot and the screen goes black leaving a white dove on the screen to end the video.
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey guys! look at this sweet pic of my pa after our father and son morning activities

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

as you can tell we were almost having as much fun as @tako. dad tried not to dance for the picture though- i said it was too hard to take the pic with him moving

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he didn't believe me though. he then asked me why @tako didn't come over for the slumber party last week with the pizza and the pop and the parents.

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i said i didnt know, and then i shed a tear. maybe two. :'( :'( but then i realized i made a new friend in lebron. cant wait to delonte his mom

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Location: Three time Mr. fanTASTic!
PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 11:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

(ET holds a towel over his head, trying to stop the bleeding).

You have made a GRAVE mistake, Pest. You couldn't leave well enough could you. What you will find is that in WAR...there is always the risk of escalation. One side sends soldiers, the other side sends battleships. One side sends battleships, the other side sends fighter planes.

You split my head wide open FROM BEHIND...and now, I will LOOK INTO YOUR EYES as I break your neck.

No matter WHO I see in the cage next week, I shall COME for you, Pest. I shall crush you underneath my foot, I SHALL MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS. You have the NERVE to come after me in my hometown. Now, I shall have the nerve to show you no quarter once I get my hands on you.

Smoove - you and I also have unfinished business. I couldn't care LESS that you feel as if you won your match, your victory is tainted by the blood that now pours down my face...and now, the blood of whatever soul I look to face in on your hands. Once I am done with them, I shall redeem myself against you.

(ET removes the towel from his head, sees traces of blood on his hand, and proceeds to lick it off, Bruce Lee style).

vike daddy wrote:
EliteTexan80 wrote:
I wanna be a mod.

vastly over rated.
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

***Press Release***

After a historic first episode, Alpha! returns to you LIVE 4/3/12 from The Pit, in Albuquerque, New Mexico!

The 2nd round of the tournament to crown the first ever FFWF Champion will take place:

Mikey Scars v. Mike Tako

Lebron Bonds v. Rumba Perez

JT Smoove v. Hart Thompson

Plus, bad blood is in the air as we bring to you a Main Event that won't be for the feint of heart.

the Pest v. SDG v. the Mysterious Dove Giver

...don't forget, the man left in the cage has to immediately go through "5 minutes of HELL" with ET80!!

All that and so much more as we gear up for our April PPV extravaganza Extremely Loud & Unpredictably Close, 4/29/12. ONLY ON PPV!!
***Press Release***

Up to the Second - Tournament Brackets


the Babe

Dove Giver


the Savior

the Pig Farmer

the Pest


Hart Thompson
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

(camera focuses in on a dance floor full of people having fun and letting loose. the atmosphere could be described as dingy but that would be a slap in the face to the closeness and feeling of la familia that is ever present. some are executing the flamenco dances flawlessly, with smiles ear to ear. somewhere, someone shouts out a cat call "ayiyiyiyi!". and of course others dance the bambera. sweat dripping from their bodies. hands and bodies touching. the camera makes its way through this throng of bodies and finds Rumba Perez reclining in a makeshift recliner with a gorgeous woman to his right and an even more gorgeous woman to his left. when he speaks he shouts over the noises of the dance party surrounding him, but he never truly speaks in a harsh tone. despite the thick accent, it's clear that Rumba has a working mastery of the English language.)

Hello, my friends!

Last week... on Alpha!. It was supposed to be the biggest moment of my career. I was going to face that she-male the Pest and I was going to beat him in front of my second home, Houston, Texas.

Odelay, it wasn't to be. It wasn't to be, because that coward, that maricon, wouldn't come out and face me. Well, justice was served and I was awarded the result that everyone already knew in their hearts was going to happen! The Pest, we have a saying where I grew up in Cuba. It goes, "taking time to do anything but what you say you're going to do - is time lost". So I'm saying this to you, to the Dove Giver, to my opponent next week, Lebron Bonds... I'm saying this to anyone watching. When all of this is said and done, I will BE the FFWF Champion. I will BE the absolute best in the business, vato.

(one of the beautiful Hispanic women leans in to Rumba and whispers something in his ear)

Lebron Bonds? Mannnn. Bonds, you are one crazy, eskimo. Is it an act? Is it the real deal? Doesn't matter. Next Tuesday you and I will be in that ring. No igloos. No dance partners. No morons with unhealthy bird obsessions. Just you. Just me. No Mama Bonds. No Papa Bonds. No bail bonds. Just. YOU. Just. ME!

I will beat you, Bonds. I know that in my soul. Just as sure as the day your crazy [inappropriate/removed] was born.... I will beat you.

Now. If you excuse me...

(looks to the young lady on his right and then slowly to the glorious creature on his left)

....I have a dance card that needs tending to.

(camera slowly backs out as Rumba and his two lady friends disappear as the crowd fills back in the spot the camera man just occupied. another cat call from somewhere in the distance as we fade to black.)
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 5:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This following announcement is about JT Smoove talking and paid from from Bishop's personal bank account.

To all of my East Coast fans, Bishop hates you people. He is withholding FFWF from the East Coast. I don't even know half the towns we visit anymore. Right now were in this weird town called albkerke. If he's gonna run the show (which I don't want him to) at least get cities where the rest of us can pronounce. Today I'm not even gonna bash anybody, I'm just gonna speak my mind on the state of the FFWF and the roster.

Mikey Scars- The dude isn't really talented. He's just boring, and from Cleveland. Nobody even tries to acknowledge the state of Ohio anymore since its a disgrace to the other 49 states. His recent match caught my eye. Still gotta take him out soon as well as he'll be an obstacle on my path of revenge.

Mike Tako- Who is this dude? Anybody hear of him? This is the first time I heard of the guy when you asked me on my thoughts on him? Apparently he won his match. Got to meet this dude and beat him as well

Dove Giver- He's a clever man. I wonder whether he advanced. He is a man I will keep an eye on in the future. Giver could be an asset or an enemy? He'll come in 2nd and force Pest to face ET.

SDG- I don't even think this man is from England. He probably came from Ohio but changed the accent of his voice to avoid any reference to his heritage. I can understand, I would never want to be from Ohio or relate to it. He no showed last week which was an ehh decision on his part. I'd rather face him than Thompson, mainly because SDG is interesting. He's my choice to win the Cage Match.

Pest- Dude tried to cost me my match against ET80, he got ET80 for me though so I got to pay him back in a beating. Won't go in on him. Pest is just annoying and needs to be put in his place. Weakest wrestler on the roster IMO.

ET80- I beat him already. Very weak physically and mentally. He won't do anything of importance while he's here. He should take on Pest real easily though

Hart Thompson- Wait until the next show to see my take on him.

You already know a lot about me.

Savior- I think that he won't be medically cleared to compete again. Its a shame though because I like him a lot. I would help him, but a big boy has to fight his own battles. He should be a future champion in the future.

Lebron Bonds- Obviously never gonna win a title since he has LeBron in his name. He won't last until the end of the year. IMO he's a mole for another federation.


Scars should win easily against Tako a relatively unknown and talent-less.
Perez will beat Bonds and force him out of the company
I will win the match against Thompson.
SDG will beat Giver who will beat Pest who will get broken down by ET

Other than my match, these are all snooze-fests.

Thank you for watching and good night everybody.

simonwayne wrote:
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 5:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another video has surfaced on FFWF's website.

You can here talking in the background as the camera pans into the room. The accents are of heavy British. The camera shows very important, powerful people in England, including the queen. The camera zooms in on a man dressed in an incredible looking suit, with fine china and an empty plate of food in front of him.

The man looks straight into the camera with a very serious face, takes a sip of his wine, and then begins talking.

SDG wrote:
For those of you who do not know who I am, take a good look! For those 5 seconds you were gazing into my face, you not only were looking at a man who is one of the most respected and influential people in England, but you were looking at the future of the FFWF!

I would apologize for missing the inaugural episode of the company last week, but the fact that I'm addressing you fat, lazy, cowardly, Americans at this very moment is more than enough payment for missing last week.

You see, I was a busy man last week. Having dinner with the Queen of England is not an opportunity that one simply passes up on, and as you can see by the way I'm dressed, I had to make sure I was the best dressed, best looking man in the world for this event.

As for me not showing up for my math last week; Let's just say I don't feel that Hart Thompson is worth my time. I'm eating dinner with the most powerful person in England, and he looks like he just jumped out of a coloring book or cartoon.

A waiter approaches, and a terrific looking steak is placed onto the man's plate. "Thank you," says the man. He takes a bite, and nods his head as if it tastes very good. He swallows the food, takes another sip of his wine and addresses the camera once more.

SDG wrote:
Dinner has been served so I'll leave you with this. I will be at next week's Alpha, and after hearing about my triple threat cage match next week I must say that I'm a little worried. Not about my own well being, but about what is going to happen to Shampoo Man and Pesty no Testes.

I'm a very powerful man, and I plan to show just exactly how powerful I can be next week. After watching last week's episode I can confidently say that I am the best wrestler in FFWF, because I am England's Finest. My name is Saxon Douglas-Goldsbourne and I am SO DAMN GOOD!

SDG looks straight into the camera with a scowl on his face, and the camera fades to black.
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