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Who Wins?
49ers
37%
 37%  [ 6 ]
Ravens
62%
 62%  [ 10 ]
Total Votes : 16

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Ramsfan28


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Location: Brooklyn, NY
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:36 pm    Post subject: The Superbowl Thread Reply with quote

I know there is going to be lots of talk about the big game, so let's keep it all here.


Wait...is this...is this a gameday thread? OH I THINK IT IS! You all know what that means, don't you?





49ers



VS

Ravens







What: The Super Bowl
Where: New Orleans
When: February 3, 2013
Who: Jim vs. John
Why: If you have a reason for why not, get out of this planet!








NFL Play 60…with the Washington Redskins!




Kid: When I grow up, I want to play quarterback in the NFL! I wanna play for you coach Mike!






*BANG*

Kid: OWWW!! You ruined my leg!
Mike: Yeah, now go run up them stairs boy!




Kid: I wanna play running back!
Mike: Anyone else wanna play running back?

Mike: Okay, all of you get together and play a battle royal of rock’em sock’em robots. Winner gets the start this week.
Kid: Isn’t that Alfred Morris guy doing really well for you?
Mike: Yes, for now, but he still hasn’t earned his spot yet. Not until he wins Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Kid: Mr. Snyder, do you think that one day you could draft ME?
Snyder: Hmmm….I think one of our draft picks may land on you!
Kid: Really?!?!
Snyder: Yes, and then we will trade your pick away for another player or a higher draft pick. So work hard, and become a top 5 pick or a really good free agent!



Meanwhile, at Arrowhead Stadium



Pioli: Gentlemen…we need a new head coach. Any suggestions guys?
Cassel: I think we should hire Josh McDaniels! It will only improve my time on the field!
Every other player: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bowe (thinking): Hmmm…we need someone that knows how to overpay players. Man…I bet Reid would be nice! Daddy needs a new car!)

Bowe: You know…when Haley was here, he had a good method of collecting talent.
PIoli: How so? How did you come across this?
Bowe: Well, when he needed a staff, he just smoked an entire pig and deep fried some chickens. Next thing you know, Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weiss just appeared out of nowhere.
Pioli: Hmmmm….so what you’re saying is…..


*DING DONG*

Pioli: Hello?










Reid: Yes, I, ummm…was in Philly and smelled something tasty. I think it’s coming from your backyard.
Pioli: Oh, why yes….Dwayne Bowe was just smoking an entire pig! Then we’re going to cover it in BBQ sauce!



*grumble*
Reid: Oh…oh man…that sounds tasty….do you have any chicken too?
Pioli: Ha, do we?! Romeo installed a Popeyes in the lockerroom before we let him go. It’s his…legacy.
Reid: Well allow me to carry on his legacy! I would be honored to be your new head coach! Who’s my talented QB?!?!
Pioli: …Matt Cassel….
Reid: ….oh….uh….

Construction Crew: Hello, we’re here to-
Pioli: Oh, to build the new Baskin Robbins in the coaches office! Yes, yes, upstairs guys!
Construction Crew: ….ummm…okay….
Reid: OH BOY! Matt Cassel huh? Well I’m really good at getting the most out of my quarterbacks. I’m sure after a year I’ll have him throwing accurate passes from 10…maybe even 12 yards!
Pioli: Wow, that’s DOUBLE! I’m really excited for this!









And the exciting news continues…




Kelly: Man, oh man…what do I do? This is such a tough call. I have two very great career opportunities just falling into my lap. I feel bad for teasing the university where I have had so much success. But still….the professional level of coaching has always been my dream! Alright, time to call some friends for advice.

*ring ring*



Carroll: Hello?

Kelly: Hey Pete, it’s your ol’ buddy, Chip.

Carroll: Oh, hey Chip, what do you want?

Kelly: Well, I’m in kind of a bind right now. I want to go and coach professional ball but just can’t seem to leave my school.

Carroll: Ohhh boy! Haha, I knew this day would come where my boy became a man!

Kelly: What?

Carroll: Yep, little Kelly bought one too many sports cars for his recruits. That’s okay! You found your parachute! Now all you gotta do is find some Space Cadet coach that’s wandering around and looking for opportunity!

Kelly: Umm…no…none of that happened.

Carroll: Oh, haha, SURE. Well, then look at it this way. You’ve been married to your loving wife for like…5 years. But then some playboy model comes in and wants to talk X’s and O’s. At this point, you have to decide between the lame thing to do and the cool thing to do. It’s not that hard buddy.

Kelly: Ummm…oh hold on, I’m getting a call from Lane Kiffin.

Kelly: Hello?





Kiffin: Hey! What’s up man? I heard you were bouncing around between jobs!

Kelly: Yep, I’m in a pickle.

Kiffin: Yeah, but you gotta look out for number one. I mean, yeah, I kinda made a hasty decision, but all that happened was me basically getting banned from the entire state of Tennessee. I mean, come on, it’s Tennessee, who cares. They have Dolly Parton and country music. I’m a hip hop boy, ya diiiggggg?

Kelly: Yeah…I “dig.”

Kiffin: The NFL is fun. You get paid lots of money for not winning, and it all gets blamed on the Chicken Nugget scarfing quarterback. Oregon might not like you, but who cares…it’s Oregon. They’re know for….that…trail we all played on Windows 3.1. It’s not like you got banned from Cali or something.

Kelly: Okay, this is all very confusing. I think I know what to do, and who I’m placing this situation in the hands of.


1 week later

Kelly: So…*sniff* I regret to inform you all that I will be leaving Oregon. Thank you all for everything. I’m just really looking forward to the challenge of the pros. Sorry for changing my mind so much. And…I really like Wrangler Jeans.












Favre: Alright, well done Chip! Now you have one more assignment waiting for you at your old office.


Kelly: Hmm…a note addressed to me. “Chip, now all you gotta do is send”…..hmmm….odd request, but okay. Hey, secretary, can you fetch my assistant?




*2 hours later, in Florida*




Sterger: What is this? “Jenn, this is the photo of my assistant, Richard. Brett Favre wanted me to send this to you. I’m not sure why, he’s probably moving to the area and would like to find a job. If you could help him out, that would be great. Thanks!” Oh boy…














This week, on Maury Povich: My player is out of control!



“I…I just…don’t understand. He doesn’t even know his own name. It doesn’t even start with an ‘F’, Rolando!





“He goes out when he shouldn’t, he’s disorderly all the time…”



“Whateva! Whateva! I do what I wan’!”




"He once tried to kill a man with a footlong meatball sub."




"Eat fresh! Better not catch me driving into your car"












“PPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE DON’T BE MINE! SAY IT MAURY! SAY I’M NOT THE FATHER!!!”


“Antonio, you can go…it’s not that episode.”





“Daddy! Daddy! Do we get to meet our new sibling today?

“Nope, false alarm guys…now half of you start learning how to be cover corners and the other half of you start learning how to be playmakers!”


Maury: So, we have with us today, three players from the NFL. We have Rolando McClain.

*BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

McClain: HATERS!

Maury: Next we have Kenny Britt.

*BOOOOOOOO!!!!*

Britt: No, it’s BRITT, not BRUCE, Britt. Man ya’ll stupid.

Maury: And finally, we have Ndamukong Suh via satellite where he is settling a claim with the local 2nd graders.

Suh: Sorry….sorry…I have 2 Snickers and season 1 of Dora the Explorer. Just take it and we can forget about the swingset, okay?

Maury: Well guys, I have a special guest for you all today. Please welcome, Sergeant Steve!

*YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!*

Steve: YOU ARE ALL SCUM! YOU ARE ALL WORTHLESS! LOOK AT HOW YOU MADE YOUR COACHES CRY!

Britt: Wait…I thought our defense was doing that….

Steve: I GOT A PRESCRIPTION FOR YOU! 100 MILIGRAMS OF PAIN!

Rolando: Yo…how much for that prescription?

Steve: Oh…it’ll just be….ONE WEEK OF TORTURE!

Rolando: Uh-oh, looks like I’ll be watching a lot of game film.

The trio of troubled players could barely make it through the first day.

Suh: What do you mean I can’t kick my drill instructors?

They were quite possibly the worst batch of kids they have ever had.

Steve: It’s 4th…and long…who do you guard when you’re playing man coverage?

McClain: Ummm…the center?

They even tried to rebel

Britt: Yo…yo…here’s my rap. Uh…yeah….Kenny Britt, in da house, now livin’ like a mouse. I didn’t do anything wrong, now my nights are extra long.

Suh: LONG LIKE A 5 DOLLAR FOOT LONG! This month’s foot long sandwich; Meatball!




















And now, kiddies, don’t forget, when you do your mock for the Rams, give them….


DEFENSIVE LINEMEN!



What? No…give them….

A DEFENSIVE LINEMEN!



No…no….give them a…

DEFENSIVE LINEMEN!



I was thinking more like a…

DEFENSIVE LINEMEN!



….someone else want to chime in here?



WIDE RECEIVER!


Thanks Matt!
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Emcee


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most excellent. Very Happy

As a Beaver, I especially liked the Oregon stuff. Laughing

That said, I'm rooting for the 49ers. Yeah, they're in our division, but I'd still rather see the NFC win.

Plus, we're undefeated against them. Cool
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DEE RAWL


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great stuff man, had me rollin for the most part.

I too will be rooting for the 9ers. Giving them the worst draft pick possible. Also kind of tired of all this Ray Lewis nonsense, hes not even good anymore.
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STLRamsFan99


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DEE RAWL wrote:
Great stuff man, had me rollin for the most part.

I too will be rooting for the 9ers. Giving them the worst draft pick possible. Also kind of tired of all this Ray Lewis nonsense, hes not even good anymore.


Never cheer for the 9ers to win. Shocked
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NVRamsFan


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have Niner fans given us thanks for knocking Smith out yet? Don't know that they'd be here if we hadn't.

Great read as always RF28.
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Flatlyner


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can't possibly root for the Whiners to win, being a long time rival. Go Ravens!
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J-ALL-DAY


Joined: 17 Oct 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

NVRamsFan wrote:
Have Niner fans given us thanks for knocking Smith out yet? Don't know that they'd be here if we hadn't.

Great read as always RF28.


Well, I will right now! No, but Smith was playing some good ball himself before the concussion. However, clearly Kaepernick brings a different dimension and is continuing to get better. We really struggled in the red zone with him in the regular season, but different story so far in the playoffs.

So enjoy being undefeated against us this season! But in the long run, you guys have created a MONSTER Laughing . My boy Rammy better be rooting for us though!
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jrry32


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

J-ALL-DAY wrote:
NVRamsFan wrote:
Have Niner fans given us thanks for knocking Smith out yet? Don't know that they'd be here if we hadn't.

Great read as always RF28.


Well, I will right now! No, but Smith was playing some good ball himself before the concussion. However, clearly Kaepernick brings a different dimension and is continuing to get better. We really struggled in the red zone with him in the regular season, but different story so far in the playoffs.

So enjoy being undefeated against us this season! But in the long run, you guys have created a MONSTER Laughing . My boy Rammy better be rooting for us though!


We have a monster of our own...at least against SF. You guys haven't beaten us in the 4 quarters of any game with Sam Bradford as our starting QB. Laughing
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y2lamanaki


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's something every fan in our division can take pride in:

The NFC West is the only division to send every team in its division to the Superbowl in this millennium.

Whether you're cheering for or against the 49ers, you can enjoy that fact that all those other 'superior' divisions cannot compete with.
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Wr80


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Go 49ers!!! Not only does it help make the NFC Best comment look better, but they get a worse draft pick. I hate them and hope we kick their butts and they lose during the regular season but we're not in it guys, why cheer against them?
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steadypimpin


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

NVRamsFan wrote:
Have Niner fans given us thanks for knocking Smith out yet? Don't know that they'd be here if we hadn't.

Great read as always RF28.
Thank you. I have been waiting for the day that Alex isn't our QB. I've been done with that guy for years now. Hopefully he will be off our roster after we win the Super Bowl. Cool
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neezy007


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello rams fans! I'm glad you guys are rooting for us. I used to root for the rams when they were the greatest show on earth.

Quick question. Which team in the division do you hate the least? For me I always hated the Seahawks the most. Then followed by the cards and rams at the bottom.
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stlblackshirt


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

neezy007 wrote:
Hello rams fans! I'm glad you guys are rooting for us. I used to root for the rams when they were the greatest show on earth.

Quick question. Which team in the division do you hate the least? For me I always hated the Seahawks the most. Then followed by the cards and rams at the bottom.


That's a good question. Honestly, I think it depends which Rams fans you are talking about. Older fans in St Louis still have an affinity for the Cardinals. It varies once you get out of St Louis. I don't really hate any team in this division.

I'll be rooting for the 49ers (because NFC WEST > ALL), but I remember when the Rams lost time after time to the 49ers and the players kept saying "same ol' sorry a** Rams." When the GSOT team came along, the way we all knew that team was special (and would not lose again) is when they beat the 49ers in November that year. That was the tipping point. So I would say the 49ers are the biggest rival (because they smacked us around so much before) and most wouldn't be too upset if you guys lost a lot of games.

It would greatly upset me to see the Ravens win. I can't take another Ray Lewis story. Best middle linebacker/murderer ever.
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ctp2124


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In order of most hated to least:

Seahawks (By a lot)
49ers
Cardinals
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yrba1


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guess hatred for certain division rivals vary by forum. At ClanRam, there's a lot of blood boiling against the Niners whereas here, it's always a warzone against the Seahawks.

I'm still cheering for the Ravens though so I don't have to deal with annoying bandwagon Niner fans gloating over 6 rings. Twisted Evil
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